Monday, December 25, 2006
Christmas eve

The old folk just had to moralize. They just couldn't let it slide. Fun suckers. They suck the fun out of everything. Why couldn't they have just left us to our fun for a change? It's fucking karaoke. I don't see why we have to make a big fucking deal out of everything. The point was to celebrate, not to analyze the bloody lyrics for their content. Tito just had to bring it up and all the other elderly fart bags joined in on a lengthy sermon on 'how we ought to project ourselves properly (especially us 'young ladies') through our choice in songs' crock. I'm sorry, but I didn't hear anyone complaining when everyone (that means the oldfolk) was singing along with me to 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' which have those innuendos like they kept referring to. And hey, when Aileen, who's uh, 10 yrs old or something, sings 'Burn' it's all right, but when a Ate Rizza sings it - well, apparently it's inappropriate.

What a bunch of hypocrites. If they didn't like it, they shouldn't have kept paying us a hundred bucks every time we got 90 and above in karaoke. Jeez. What pissed me off more was how condescending they were - talking to us about sexual innuendos and such in songs as though we didn't have a fucking clue. Um, excuse me. We're not as ignorant/innocent as you think. Read: We're not stupid. It's just that we don't take ourselves too goddamn seriously. Ok, so I might have pushed it when I actually sang '...her boyfriend's a dick' in Teenage Dirtbag (only because I assumed everyone was having fun. I mean, I got my whole family to rock out earlier.) but still. It was all in good fun. Gah, my family is so frickin' anal.
And I hate all that bullshit they spewed about how we should, as ladies, be more decent and all that crock. Uh, sorry, but I don't much care for packaging myself 'appropriately,' at least not by their standards. I might as well wear a habit and join the convent. Ugh, I can imagine how much worse it would have been if Tita S had been around. Shoot me now.

What lesson is there to be gained from all this? I was better off when I wasn't a karaoke-whore. That or, I might as well abstain from karaoke when the old folk are around, because it's unlikely I'll be able to find wholesome lyrics to sing. I can't even think of anything besides 'Twinkle twinkle, little star.' Although, mind you, with a little imagination and the help of accenting the right word - I find that it will almost always be possible to insinuate something pervy. We of the Triumvirate know this all too well.

So anyway, go figure. Everyone lost their appetite for karaoke after all the funsucking. That trainwreck got old fast. I mean what did they expect? That we'd pick up from where we left off? Even if I had picked an oldies song like Fever, they would have still found something to harp about. If they were so inclined. I'll bet you they were, too.

But up until that point, everything was actually fun. I come from a family of karaoke-whores, and have thus turned into one at some point. We had scandalous renditions of Doobidoo and Bohemian Rhapsody which was kickarse, and like I said, my family singing along to Nirvana (A mulato. An albino. A mosquito. My libido!) Mostly I stuck to the rock songs, because apart from being fun, I get a higher score when I belt out the lyrics. And come tomorrow I will no longer have a voice. Neither will my cousins. That, and I swear this is for real - everyone around Tito's house had rented videoke machines as well. There were like three or four in our vicinty, but ours was the coolest. According to one of my titas, ours dominated and drowned out the other machines. Haha. Yeah, we rock the casbah that way.


Now if only it had stayed that way.

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Thus spake Irish || 12:17 AM || 0 comments