Thursday, November 24, 2005
The Number Game

Never is the number of times my essays in Fil should be read out loud in class. What the hell? And here I was thinking - Nah. Nobody does, and not like it even made sense. You see, its long been established that my written work in Filipino could very well be as valuable as the newspapers lining them chicken cages. I write like crap. There are really good essays and stories I’ve read in tagalog, the authors had their respective styles and had the skill to generate a particular feel to the text. However, there is only one way I write in tagalog - which is to say, I formulate ideas then crudely translate it into Tagalog. You can imagine how screwed up that gets. Basically, you have a translation but no edge or whatnot, just an awkward or banal translation. Don’t even get me started on “balarila,” which is grammar. Last time I checked, it was bordering on attrocious. On the first day of class, our Fil teacher made mention of some examples - apparently “Nalaglag ako sa hagdanan” is incorrect and “Nalaglag ako sa hagdan” is the proper usage. Or the other way around, I forget.
Enough digression. Our teacher has this knack for reading out selected essays, she never reveals who wrote it though, unless of course you blurt it out loud. I believe she was using the essays she made us write to asssess our personalities and writing style and all that jazz. Imagine my mortification when the second paper she reads is mine. Me ~ acts nonchalant. She really shouldn’t take those things seriously. You can’t gauge a person with one measly essay. I think she pegs me as a brooding, anti-social type with pent up emotions. What the fuck? Must’ve been because she missed the humor, likely because my title was “Ipinanganak sa Ilalim ng Blackhole(?)” and my opening statement went something along the lines of ~ ‘If I were doing something else right now, I’d be planning to take over the world.’ Anyone who knows me knows for a fact that this is the kind of thing I’d say in normal conversation. They’d also know I don’t mean this in a dark, sinister, I-hate-the-goddam-world way. Eurgh. But like I mentioned earlier, I write like crap in tagalog so no supreese there.

(Which is not to say that I wont take over the world, though. Or rather, the next one.)

39 is the number of times our Physics teacher said “I guess” this week, and that only accounts for when I was conscious enough to tally. Last Tuesday, he said “I guess” ten times in ten minutes. And he wore red twice. The man likes red. Oh, and he only said “Perhaps” 6 times. I didn’t count today, I was busy with “I guess.” Seriously, I have a special tally sheet. …What? I have to do something other than copy down his bloody notes.

5 is the number of girls in my Judo class. Ah well, better than last week’s count- which was 2.

3 weeks and 6 days is how long before I officially come of age. Blah. Plans still hazy. Gay bar will be last resort.

5. Lately the average hours of sleep I’ve been getting. My, my, I’m a living breathing zombie.

0. The ideal number of ludicrous napkin commercials allowed airtime on televesion. Of course this doesn’t include tolerable ones, though napkin commercials in general are mostly just iffy. Whilst I was flipping channels a while ago, I happened on such a commercial. You know the kind where a bunch of women just happen to engage in a rather strange conversation about their pads?
Like women actually prance around and have nice little chats about napkins. Think about it in realistic conditions - where exactly does one insert the subject of cottony soft pads and wings in a normal conversation? It's just too pathetic for words.
I mean for godssakes, do men go around comparing their knickers?

On second thought, don’t answer that.

A lot. Technically not a number, but I don’t have enough fingers to count the glitches in the damnable GoF movie. Off the top of my head, there were 2 things I found nice - Lucius Malfoy and Barty Crouch Jr. (as he bears a striking resemblance to Seth Green). Rarrr.

7. Is the number of pigs that I have. One of them is a cow. ((Obviously, you can deduce from this last one that 0 is the number of working brain cells I have right now.))

Lastly, with no particular relation to the figures above, I’m inclined to reiterate that less is more. My poppet bitches know what I mean. >:P
Thus spake Irish || 8:09 PM || 1 comments